It’s my last night out in Chicago as a single woman I am going out with a bang! So many weeks of planning, preperation …where to go? what to wear? who is coming? what time to start? IT’S FINALLY HERE! It’s my last night out on the town in chicago. A bunch of classy girls just out to have a good time… so you think. The limo picks us up at the first location our hotel in downtown chicago, having pre partied a little bit we are all a pretty bit tipsy. We get in the limo a HOT PINK HUMMER!!! All set beer, champagne, wine coolers, mixers everything is included. I get a hot pink boa! Wooohoo lets take charge of this night because IT IS MY LAST NIGHT! So we stop at Pink Monkey for the MALE REVIEW show… it’s BYOB BITCHES so keep the drinks pouring! I Brought my favorite, bubble gum vodka, grey goose we got our mixers there. The show was awesome so intense, hot looking guys dancing to awesome songs in their costumes. So what if I get on the chair and start to dance holding a bottle of HENNESY that I took from the other table. ( my brides maids said that when I did that it was like a death wish) So while I was dancing on the chair not paying attention to anything around me, my brides maids we’re trying to fend off a bunch of girls from kicking my ass. I had no clue… so we quickly rushed to get out of their.. I had a great time.
So off to my next place the Loft on Rush and Division .. I “stagger” graciously walking out of the limo on to on coming traffic as my brides maids try to make sure that we do not get killed on a busy street. Our limousine driver was so gracious walking us up to the door making sure that we got in fine. (Wish he would have just stayed with us … we probably would have been better off). So I walk into the place like I own this mutha and lowe and behold… here comes some douche bag fist pumping and knocks me down … oh hell no. I have been in this place only for 5 minutes and this guy was straight from the books of the jersey shore. So I get in his face… I get kicked out..can’t find my “bitches” bridesmaides because ther all single and trying to get laid. So I am sitting in the street …drunk texting and swearing at these ho’s for LEAVING ME! Little did I know they were all looking for me and found me in the street and our driver was in this pink limo waiting for us to go to the next place.
So Excalibur it is. I wipe my tears and get my ID … we are so going to make this night go out with a bang!!!!! We get to the club everyone get’s in … but me. They said it was “over intoxication” huh.. I was not. Ok I could not see straight, my vail was crooked, and someone said my dress was tucked in my under wear. I was gracious! At this point I just want to go home. So we call the driver, he comes and get’s us..10 min later and just whisped us away.
I was in tears.. we drank all the booze in the limo..I was crying because I ran out of bartles and james. It was like it was the end of the world, but I really did not need any more. Some one from above must have been watching me, or these lush of brides maids either drank it all or hid it on me because I had to much ( at that time I did not think I did… but looking back) I should have stopped at the pink monkey.
So I cry… ” I miss Happy Meals” you know the ones with the toys and where you get a new one each week. I JUST WANT A HAPPY MEAL.. I was crying so hard I started to hypervenilate. The driver asked if I was ok and if I was having a asthma attack. My girls were like no she just wants chicken nuggets. So he stopped at the McDonalds. Got me my happy meal… I was so excited held my box till I got to the hotel!Then I passed out….
In the morning I woke up to wearing a happy meal barbie braclet, covered in chicken nugget crumbs, soda spilled on my hotel sheets, and bbq sauce on my face.
So I was HUNGOVER!
